Terms and Conditions of Use
Last Updated: August 15, 2022
Welcome to the website for our podcast, Fearless Paranoia. By using this Website, you agree to comply with and be bound by these terms. If you do not agree to these terms and conditions, you should not use this Website.
(I challenge you to read this in a Sean Connery voice. Sorry, I just watched Hunt for Red October.)
This Term of Use agreement (“the “Agreement”) specifies the Terms and Conditions for access to and use of https://www.FearlessParanoia.com (the “Website”) and describe the terms and conditions applicable to your access of and use of the Website. This Agreement may be modified at any time upon posting of the modified Agreement. Any such modifications shall be effective immediately. You can view the most recent version of these terms at any time at https://www.FearlessParanoia.com/Terms. Each use by you shall constitute and be deemed your unconditional acceptance of this Agreement.
All content included on this Website is and shall continue to be the property of the owners of the Website (often referred herein to “we,” “us,” and similar personal possessives) or its content suppliers and is protected under applicable copyright, patent, trademark, and other proprietary rights. Any copying, redistribution, use or publication by you of any such content or any part of the Website is prohibited, except as expressly permitted in this Agreement, so please just don’t be that guy. Under no circumstances will you acquire any ownership rights or other interest in any content by or through your use of this Website.
And if anyone tries to circumvent copyright by putting anything on this Website subject to this protection on a blockchain and arguing that since it’s already there, there’s “no going back,” I WILL TOTALLY SUE YOU. Honestly, it would be cathartic for me at this point.
4. Intended Audience.
This Website is intended for adults only. This Website is not intended for any children under the age of 13.
If you’re under 13 and listening to this Podcast… I mean cool or whatever, but why? I’m really asking.
You acknowledge our exclusive rights in the contents of Fearless Paranoia. Trademarks, service marks, logos, and copyrighted works appearing in this Website are the property of the owners of this Website or the party that provided such intellectual property. We, and any party that provides intellectual property to Fearless Paranoia retain all rights with respect to any of their respective intellectual property appearing in this website, and no rights in such materials are transferred or assigned to you.
Seriously. It’s not yours. Really not a difficult concept, so just be ok with that fact.
6. Acceptable Website Use.
I feel like I’m kind of repeating myself at this point, but just so we’re clear, we grant you a limited, revocable, nonexclusive license to use this Website solely for your own personal use. The license is not for republication, distribution, assignment, sublicense, sale, preparation of derivative works, or other use. While it’s true that this is something we’ve put together in our spare time, respect that.
You agree not to copy materials on the Website, reverse engineer or break into the Website, or use materials, products or services in violation of any law (including state, federal, thermodynamic, etc.). The use of this Website is at our discretion, and we may terminate your use of this Website at any time.
On occasion, our posts may contain downloadable content. In those cases, Fearless Paranoia hereby grants you permission to download, view, copy and print the Materials designated as “Downloadable Content” on any single, stand-alone computer solely for your personal, informational, and internal business use provided that (i) the copyright and trademark notice appearing below appears in such Materials, (ii) the Materials are not used on any other Web Website nor in a networked computer environment, and (iii) the Materials are not modified in any way. This permission terminates automatically without notice if you breach any of the terms or conditions of this Agreement. On any such termination, you agree to immediately destroy any downloaded or printed Materials. Any unauthorized use of any Materials contained on this Website may violate copyright laws, trademark laws, laws of privacy and publicity, communications regulations and statutes, as well as other rights, laws, rules, regulations and statutes.
So if we give you something for free, don’t do us dirty.
This Website may contain links to other sites controlled by parties other than us (a “Third Party Website”). Our Podcast and our Video Content are all hosted on third-party platforms, and all links to that content is a link to someone else’s platform. We are not responsible for and do not endorse or accept any responsibility for the availability, contents, products, services or use of any Third Party Website, any changes or updates to those sites, or really anything you do once you leave here.
We make no guarantees about the content or quality of the products or services provided by other platforms. Mostly because other than our stuff, everything else is garbage. I mean really. Garbage.
We are not responsible for webcasting or any other form of transmission received from any Third Party Website, although we appreciate their sending out our stuff (I mean, we do pay for that service, but it’s still nice to be appreciative). The inclusion of any link does not imply endorsement by us of the Third Party Website. You acknowledge that you bear all risks associated with access to and use of content provided on a Third Party Website and agree that we are not responsible for any loss or damage of any sort you may incur from dealing with a third party. You should contact the Website administrator for the applicable Third Party Website if you have any concerns regarding such links or the content located on any such Third Party Website.
I know… but you have to remember, lawyers descend in part from Scriveners, who – I kid you not – used to get paid by the word. Just do what I do: blame the British.
7. Compliance with Laws.
Obey the law while using this website. Don’t lie to us about (gestures broadly) YOU. And you just agreed to do both of those things.
You agree to indemnify, defend and hold the owners and operators of Fearless Paranoia, and our partners, employees, and affiliates, harmless from any liability, loss, claim and expense, including reasonable attorney’s fees, related to any violation of this Agreement or to any use of the Website.
You also agree to pay for a five (5) star resort hotel, and all accompanying accommodations we deem necessary, in the event we have to travel any more than 1000 feet from our residences in order to participate in anything subject to this indemnification clause.
FYI, WE ARE REQUIRED TO POST THIS TEXT IN ALL CAPS, EVEN THOUGH STUDIES HAVE SHOWN THAT DOING SO MAKES IT LESS LIKELY THAT YOU’LL BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY READ THROUGH THE WHOLE PARAGRAPH WITHOUT GETTING A HEADACHE AND QUITTING IN A HUFF. SORRY.
THE INFORMATION ON THIS WEBSITE IS PROVIDED ON AN “AS IS,” “AS AVAILABLE” BASIS. YOU AGREE THAT USE OF THIS WEBSITE IS AT YOUR SOLE RISK. FEARLESS PARANOIA, AND ITS OWNERS, DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO ANY EXPRESS WARRANTIES, STATUTORY WARRANTIES, AND ANY IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, AND NON-INFRINGEMENT. TO THE EXTENT YOUR JURISDICTION DOES NOT ALLOW LIMITATIONS ON WARRANTIES, THIS LIMITATION MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU. YOUR SOLE AND EXCLUSIVE REMEDY RELATING TO YOUR USE OF THE WEBSITE SHALL BE TO DISCONTINUE USING THE WEBSITE.
AND, BECAUSE ONE OF US IS A LAWYER, THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IS ANNOYINGLY NECESSARY.
Whew. Done. Go take an Advil.
10. Limitation of Liability.
Sorry, there’s more.
UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL FEARLESS PARANOIA, OR ITS OWNERS, BE LIABLE OR RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL (INCLUDING LOSS OF BUSINESS, LOST PROFITS, LITIGATION, OR THE LIKE), SPECIAL, EXEMPLARY, PUNITIVE, OR OTHER DAMAGES, UNDER ANY LEGAL THEORY, ARISING OUT OF OR IN ANY WAY RELATING TO THE WEBSITE, YOUR USE OF THE WEBSITE, OR THE WEBSITE’S CONTENT, EVEN IF ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. YOUR SOLE REMEDY FOR DISSATISFACTION WITH THE WEBSITE AND/OR THE CONTENT CONTAINED OR REFERENCED THEREIN IS TO CEASE YOUR USE OF THE WEBSITE.
You may have additional rights under certain laws (including consumer laws) which do not allow the exclusion of implied warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain damages. If these laws apply to you, the exclusions or limitations in this Agreement that directly conflict with such laws may not apply to you.
(Isn’t it a little weird that the language that is actually helpful to regular consumers is held to be of less significance such that it does NOT have to be in all caps? Dumb, huh?)
11. Use of Information.
12. Copyrights and Copyright Agent.
Ok, so in the event it’s not you who screwed up on the whole “use of owned stuff,” but rather us…
If you believe your work has been copied by or used on this Website or on any of Fearless Paranoia’s Podcast episodes or social media sites, in a way that constitutes copyright infringement, or your intellectual property rights have otherwise been violated by this Website or its related media, please provide a notice containing all the following information to our copyright agent:
(a) An electronic or physical signature of the person authorized to act on behalf of the owner of the copyright or other intellectual property interest;
(b) A description of the copyrighted work that you claim has been infringed;
(c) A description of where the material that you claim is infringing is located on the Website, including complete URLs for any pages containing the material, or if on the Podcast, the episode number and time (minutes and seconds) of at least one example of the use of the allegedly infringing material;
(d) Your address, telephone number, and e-mail address;
(e) A statement by you that you have a good faith belief that the disputed use is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law; and
(f) A statement by you, made under penalty of perjury, that the above information in your notice is accurate and that you are the copyright owner or authorized to act on the copyright owner’s behalf. (This means notarized.)
Our Copyright Agent for Notice of claims of copyright infringement on the Website is Brian C. Focht, who can be reached as follows:
By Mail: Law Offices of Brian C. Focht, P.O. Box 18667, Charlotte, NC 28218
By Phone: (980) 202-0704
By E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
13. Applicable Law.
You agree that the laws of the state of North Carolina, without regard to conflicts of laws provisions, will govern these Terms and Condition of Use and any dispute that may arise between you and Fearless Paranoia, or its owners, arising out of your use of this Website, or related in any way to the content published on this Website.
If any provision of this Agreement shall be adjudged by any court of competent jurisdiction to be unenforceable or invalid, that provision shall be limited or eliminated to the minimum extent necessary so that this Agreement will otherwise remain in full force and effect.
The failure of Fearless Paranoia, or its owners, to exercise or enforce any right or provision of this Agreement shall not operate as a waiver of such right or provision. Any such waiver must be in writing and signed by an authorized representative of Fearless Paranoia.
We may terminate this Agreement at any time, with or without notice, for any reason.
17. Relationship of the Parties.
Nothing contained in this Agreement or your use of the Website shall be construed to constitute either party as a partner, joint venturer, employee, or agent of the other party, nor shall either party hold itself out as such. And not just because it’s silly to assume that by reading this Website, we suddenly become co-conspirators or something. I mean, think about it, it’s really pretty nuts.
But then again… (gestures towards whole world right now). Ok, but that DOESN’T mean it gets to happen here too.
Neither party has any right or authority to incur, assume or create, in writing or otherwise, any warranty, liability or other obligation of any kind, express or implied, in the name of or on behalf of the other party, it being intended by both parties that each shall remain independent contractors responsible for its own actions.
I mean it. No pinning any of your crap on us.
18. Entire Agreement.
This Agreement constitutes the entire agreement between you and Fearless Paranoia and governs the terms and conditions of your use of the Website, and supersedes all prior or contemporaneous communications and proposals, whether electronic, oral or written, between you and Fearless Paranoia with respect to this Website.
19. Contact Information.
Brian C. Focht
Law Offices of Brian C. Focht
P.O. Box 18667
Charlotte, NC 28218
©2022 Fearless Paranoia